


Control Failure

by Gabby (Kirahsoka)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: All of it mild, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Choose your own setting, F/F, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Implied Consent, One Shot, That isn't a problem, and then it isn't, barrissoka, until it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 17:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21019676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirahsoka/pseuds/Gabby
Summary: Ahsoka talking in her sleep leads to a Barriss freak out, a loss of control, and a changed relationship. Cue more freak outs.I've left the Star Wars time period and location details open. Let your imagination run wild. Ahsoka and Barriss certainly do.





	Control Failure

“Barriss…” A throaty murmur cut through the quiet night. “... mmm…”

Turning over carefully to avoid disturbing the sleeping woman beside her, Barriss fixed on Ahsoka. _Why is she saying my name? More importantly, why is she saying it like that? _

“Beautiful…” emanated from a sultry smile on Ahsoka’s lips.

Her heart lurched. _What does that mean? Nothing, Offee. Don’t be stupid. It could be a dream about anything. _Despite the rational argument, her agitation increased. She lay rigid, desperately hoping for more.

After an interminable quantity of heavy breathing and unintelligible mumbling, there were barely audible words that stopped everything. “Don’t go… I love…”

Barriss’ mind spun into a tangent of spewing emotions and conflicting analysis.

_Love. She said love. I know I didn’t imagine that._

_It could be in reference to anything! You don’t even know if she’s still dreaming about you. It’s probably the middle of a sentence. ‘Oh, how I love meilooruns’ or something. You’re acting like dreams make sense. Stop this ridiculousness. _

_What—what if it _is_ about me? _

_No. Can’t be. Don’t do this to yourself! _

Suddenly, Ahsoka sat up with a panicked cry, “No!”

The unexpected action brought an end to her tumbling thoughts. “Ahsoka? Are you alright?”

There was no response as the woman continued to stare blankly at nothing.

Shuffling around on her knees to face Ahsoka, Barriss cupped her cheeks. “Hey, are you there? Tell me what’s wrong.”

Eyes licking like hot, blue flames burnt into hers. “Don’t leave me.”

“Um… ok. I don’t plan to.” She wrinkled her nose. “Why would you think I might?”

“Because,” the woman replied vaguely, “you did.” The intensity faded, deep sadness replacing it. Then, her attention floated off once more.

Tightening her grip, Barriss stated, “Ahsoka, listen to me. That was a dream. I’m not going anywhere.” _I couldn't leave you if I tried._

Her eyes swerved back. Then, Ahsoka shot forward and crashed lips into hers, digging deeply, before abruptly pulling away.

Trying to process the emotional whiplash, Barriss could only manage a breathless, “Wow.”

Ahsoka's mouth opened and then slammed shut. Fierce blue eyes probed hers, the strained intensity Barriss couldn’t identify in them. Then, they pointedly fixed above her head.

Worry and panic was quickly overtaking every other feeling._ Did she mean to do that? What if it’s like sleepwalking? Is sleepkissing a thing? _“Ahsoka, look at me.”

The woman’s gaze darted to hers for a second, before dropping.

Barriss lightly slapped Ahsoka’s cheek, but the woman remained stubbornly focused on the blanket beneath them. _I don’t understand. Why won’t she look at me?_ She cocked her arm back to try a more forceful measure, when Ahsoka raised her own and stopped it mid-swing.

She stared at Barriss’ hand with the same strange intensity from earlier, mouth trembling, body coiled as if spring-loaded. Then, everything seemed to release, and Ahsoka started running tender lips over her knuckles.

Her stomach bottomed out. _Oh, please don’t stop. What are you saying? You don’t even know if she realizes what she’s doing! _Despite intentions, Barriss stayed silent and enjoyed the delicious warmth spreading through her as Ahsoka’s tongue grazed her palm.

When the mouth began trailing up the inside of her arm, Barriss inhaled sharply with pleasure followed by guilt._ Say something! _Taking a steadying breath, she stuttered, “A-ahsoka, I—what’s happening?”

A husky voice whispered, “I need you. Please.”

Delight shot through Barriss. Lips reached the top of her arm and slowly dragged across her throat. The question of stopping faded completely as her eyes fluttered shut. It felt so… right.

Fingers flitted over Barriss’ shoulders and down her sides as Ahsoka’s mouth massaged a path to her jaw. Hands slipped underneath her top and caressed her stomach. They moved slowly upwards, prickling skin and pushing fabric as they went.

_Should I touch her back?_ This was new for Barriss. Not just with Ahsoka, with anyone. Afraid of making a mistake, she remained kneeling in place, arms trembling at her sides.

Ahsoka worked the top up to her neck. Muscles flinching, Barriss couldn’t form any thought beyond the immediate moment. _Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop._

Fingers still tangled in the shirt around her neck, Ahsoka tugged Barriss forward to deliver a passionate kiss. The thrill of their lips melding made her swoon, and a quiet whine escaped.

Soon, the woman’s mouth left to trace her entire jawline. Ahsoka rasped into the small of her throat, “So beautiful.”

An ethereal smile lit her heart. Before Barriss could even process the feeling, Ahsoka returned to the shirt, whipping it over her head. Wide eyes roved across her bare chest, mouth moving wordlessly. Something resembling a breathy whimper sounded instead. The intensity from earlier consumed Ahsoka’s gaze, and she lunged forward, latching lips onto a breast. _Holy Force._

Barriss’ body responded automatically and pressed itself tighter into the movements. Impossible sensations cascaded in repeated cycles. Her breathing became erratic as if unable to keep up with the level of excitement it was experiencing.

Calloused hands wandered across tingling skin, before squeezing into both breasts. Sharp teeth scraped her nipples. Ahsoka sucked each one in turn. The throbbing below her stomach raged higher, and Barriss groaned. The sensation was exquisite and maddening. _More. I need you down there._ She tried to say so, but Ahsoka’s teeth dug into her left breast and only a high-pitched squeak came out.

As if sensing her need, fumbling hands slid beneath her pants. Screwing up her eyes tightly, Barriss bit hard into her lip and tasted blood. Her body keened as she awaited something she’d never experienced but desperately wanted. Oh, how she wanted it.

Ahsoka stroked across her underwear, gently rubbing into sensitive areas Barriss didn’t know she had. Fingers slid around, pushing the fabric askew to reach naked skin. Bare fingers flicking through inflamed flesh shocked a gasping sob from her lungs. She shuddered. “... s-soka…”

Unexpectedly, Ahsoka withdrew her hands.

_No. I must have done something wrong. _Opening wild eyes, she prepared to fix whatever it was.

Her panic quelled as Ahsoka pressed lips against her ear, steamy exhales flowing into it. “Let me make you happy. I promise I will.”

Heart spinning, Barriss couldn't speak. She tried to at least nod but could barely make her sluggish muscles twitch amid agonizing joy.

She gently pushed Barriss onto her back. Gripping her waist, the woman leaned over and thrust a tongue into her mouth. Barriss tentatively tagged it with her own. The tingling rush was addictive, and she did it again and again. Despite wanting to grab the woman’s face and shove it further into hers, she remained motionless, unsure whether that was an appropriate response. But, Force, how she wanted to.

Ahsoka groaned into her mouth and then slid down, working her pants off. The woman sucked on each piece of newly exposed skin, until everything was bare. Tossing the constricting underwear to the side, she edged Barriss’ legs apart. The new position sparked shivering pleasure.

Fingers skirted around her now excruciatingly sensitive opening. Her body’s scream was insatiable, starved, demanding. _More. Must. In. I need._

A fingertip inched inside and ran along aching walls. Choking breaths, she spread her legs further. The raw feeling sent her into new heights of excitement, and she arched up. Realizing moving heightened the pleasure, Barriss lifted herself and rocked into Ahsoka's massaging motions. Emitting a strangled moan, she repeated the action unceasingly, trying to intensify the amazing feeling.

Ahsoka responded by adjusting her hold and burrowing two fingers along the inner swells. The added pressure stretched her tight passageway, causing a ripple of somehow pleasant pain. Then, a thumb simultaneously teased her favorite fold of outer skin, the one she occasionally tended herself. Ahsoka’s touch was so much better in reality. Barriss coiled in paralyzed ecstasy, holding onto the rush bursting through her. _More!_

She didn't have to wait long. Ahsoka’s fingers plunged deeply inside her, and Barriss’ mind exploded.

_______

Barriss opened groggy eyes and stretched her aching muscles. _Force, I hurt._ That’s when the memories flooded back with both joy and fear. After Ahsoka had elicited screams that chafed her throat raw, exhaustion had set in. She’d fallen asleep in the woman’s arms near instantaneously. Except, now the comforting embrace wasn’t there. _Where is she? _

Lifting herself into a sitting position, she scanned around frantically. Her stomach halted its painful flips.

Ahsoka was half-dressed, curled up several feet away. She was clenching and unclenching her fists, expression set in a way Barriss definitely did not like.

_She regrets it. I let her do something she didn’t want to do. Or, maybe she’s changed her mind because I didn’t satisfy her. Wait. What if she’s trying to figure out how to tell me it didn’t mean anything? _Fighting off the rising panic and pulling the blanket tighter over her naked body, she cleared her throat. “Um, Ahsoka?”

The woman jerked up and locked horrified eyes on her. “Barriss. I—” She broke off, jaw trembling.

_I have to know._ Barriss squeezed the blanket. “What happened last night?”

“I don’t—” Her voice cracked. “You tell me.”

Barriss slumped, heart burning in misery. “Nevermind. I understand.” Turning her back to Ahsoka, she said shakily, “You didn’t know what you were doing or something.”

A sound of shuffling and a miserable reply came from directly behind her. “I may not have been completely in control, but—I can’t believe I—Oh, Barriss, I’m so, so, so sorry.”

Tears burst onto her cheeks. “I don’t want you to be sorry! I want you to have meant it.”

There was a choked gasp. “You're—that’s not—you can’t really want that.”

Barriss twisted her head around and blurted, “Yes, I do! I love you.” She winced at her impulsive words. _Now, what?_

Ahsoka gaped for several heavy moments. Then, her entire being transformed into shining joy. Leaning close, she whispered, “Not as much as I love you, Barriss Offee.”

Everything stopped. “R-really?”

Laying down, Ahsoka slid arms around her. She curved into Barriss’ back and nuzzled her hair. “So much it hurts. I’ve loved you for what feels like forever. Lately, it’s become near impossible to keep myself in check. I tried, though. I need you in my life more than anything else. Telling you how I felt was—” Her tone vibrated oddly. “I was scared. I couldn't risk losing you.”

Barriss smiled, heart reeling in surreal happiness. _She loves me. Loves me._ Despite feeling a bit foolish, she surreptitiously pinched her arm. _Ok. Not a dream._ Trying to focus through the haze of bliss, she finally said, “I didn’t think you could ever love me. So, I suppose I was afraid too.”

Ahsoka brushed lips across the back of her neck. “Silly Offee. How could someone not love you? Among other things, you’re wickedly funny, genius levels of brilliant, dedicated to a fault, and stunningly gorgeous. In short, just plain _perfect._”

She didn’t think it was possible to be happier than a moment ago, but somehow Ahsoka had managed to make it happen. Barriss could barely hold back tears and croaked, “Thanks.” _Please, don’t turn into a sappy mess._ Casting her mind around for a distraction, she had a sudden thought. “Wait. Why were you apologizing about last night, then?”

The woman stiffened and then blew out a long breath. “Because, I took advantage of you. In my dream, you left me. It was like watching my world fall apart. I couldn’t shake it. The image of you walking away kept replaying in my mind. My control finally broke. I was desperate to keep you close and show you how I felt. But I went about it in the wrong way.”

_Wrong way? _A knot formed in her stomach. _Does she regret it after all?_

Ahsoka continued unsteadily, “Once the fog cleared, I realized I hadn’t explained or asked your permission. You didn’t really touch me back or say anything, while we were making love. In the moment, I thought you were enjoying it but afterward… I was terrified you might have not really wanted to, but because you were worried you still let me…”

“Oh.” She flipped over so they were face to face. “No. I was only worried at first, because you were acting oddly. I wasn’t certain you wanted to do what you were doing. Really, I lost control too. I couldn’t help myself.”

“That’s what you meant a few minutes ago.” Her expression cleared. “Ok, I see where that came from.” Ahsoka locked an intent gaze on her. “I may have been thinking with my, uh, less rational parts, but I absolutely knew what I was doing. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do.”

Muscles she didn’t know were tensed relaxed. “Still, I should have made sure.” Barriss swallowed. _Be honest. Make sure she knows it wasn’t her._ “I didn’t touch you back because,” she halted to lick her lips, before rushing on, “I’ve never been with someone like that before and—” Heat speckled her neck. “Well, I wasn’t sure exactly what to do. I’ve been dreaming of being with you for so long and didn’t want to mess it up.”

Her lips parted and then twisted in pain. “Oh, what have I done? Why didn’t I just stop and talk to you? I could have made sure you were comfortable and guided you. What was I thinking?! I ruined what should have been special, because I couldn’t handle a bad dream.” Hard breaths sliced through the air. “I-I’m sor—Selfish, selfish, selfish!” Releasing her hold, she began to scramble away.

“No!” Barriss threw herself on top of Ahsoka. Straddling the woman’s waist, she pinned her shoulders flat. “Don’t you dare go anywhere. I was nervous, yes. That didn’t make it less special.”

“Don’t excuse my behavior.” Her face crunched, eyes blinking rapidly. “Please, tell me how to fix this. I know I can’t take it back, but I’ll do anything, _be_ anything you want. No matter what kind of relationship you need, I’ll still be here for as long as you want me. If you never want to see me again, I under—”

“Stop talking, Tano.” She dove into the mouth beneath her, trying to convey with a kiss what her words apparently weren’t. When Ahsoka shied away, Barriss hissed. “Why won’t you believe me? My first time was spent with someone I love. That all I ever wanted. And it was even better than I imagined. Besides, you’re negating my agency! I didn’t stop for a chat, either. Or, are you implying my choices didn’t matter in the equation? I’m simply your sex toy?”

Her jaw dropped in utter horror. “Barriss! How could you think—why would you—where did you even—”

Barriss had never seen such a toy, of course. However, in a cantina last week, she’d overheard two women discussing the merits of a relationship with something that didn’t talk back in far too much detail. She wasn’t even sure if ‘sex toy’ was the appropriate term, but the other descriptors used by the women made her blush. Still, it had successfully gotten Ahsoka’s attention.

Stopping what looked to be an endless stream of sputtering with another kiss, she felt Ahsoka lean into the contact this time. _Excellent utilization of peripheral information, Offee._ Reluctantly pulling back from the tempting lips, she smirked. “I’m only teasing. If you keep up this ridiculous self-loathing, though, you really will ruin one of the best moments of my life.” Barriss puckered her lips in the most suggestive pout she was capable of performing. Though, she suspected it resembled more of a bashful simper.

There was a sheepish grin. “Fine. I’m just usually so careful about making sure of what the other person wants. I don’t know what came over me. The one time I don’t follow my own rules, and it’s the most important time ever.” She shuddered. “You are _everything_ to me, Barriss. I can’t—if I had hurt you, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.”

Rubbing thumbs over the woman’s cheeks, she couldn’t suppress a happy smile at the glimpse of Ahsoka’s heart beneath the words. “But you didn’t, so why are we still talking about this again? Perhaps, you just know me so well that words became superfluous. Because, the experience was definitely _not_ disappointing or lacking in specialness.”

Ahsoka’s tense body deflated beneath her. “Ok. I got lucky this time. Don’t let me do it again, though. Promise?”

Flicking her eyes skyward, she acquiesced. “If it will make you happy, I’ll scream enthusiastic consent at you between every kiss.” Barriss shivered as remembered sensations caused a pleasant flush. She said dreamily, “Force, it felt good.”

Edges of her mouth twitching, Ahsoka remarked, “Who am I to argue with such a factual assessment of my skills?”

Barriss groaned. “Don’t overdo it, Tano.”

An impish expression glinted back at her. “Oh, that will most certainly be happening. If you thought the first time was good, you just wait.”

“I better not have to wait long.” She eyed her meaningfully.

Snorting, Ahsoka wrapped arms around her and then rolled. Flipping their positions, she grinned down at Barriss. “Hmm… I think I can meet your demands, my little sex toy.”

Warmth washed across her cheeks. _Maybe not such a great use of random information after all, Offee. The one time you make a risqué joke and you’re stuck with it for life. Wait. Actually… you are._ Running eyes over the woman she’d finally processed was in fact _hers,_ Barriss pulled Ahsoka’s head down. She nipped at her bottom lip and breathed, “Prove it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on a rainy Sunday afternoon after a stressful week. Such things usually never see the light of day. However, I kinda liked how it turned out and decided to post. Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Skip the angst. Communicate. Party on.


End file.
